Bond
by Red and Gold Phoenix
Summary: Part 6 UP! No time for sorrow, she'll do it for him...for them all. Post bus jack case: Ai develops an attachment to Detective Takagi after he takes her to the hospital.
1. Bond

This is based on Volume 29, File 05, The Bus Jacking Case. Remember that Agasa is sick during this case so you are not confused at some points.

* * *

_This is for the best._

My heart is pounding, the clock is ticking. It is only a matter of time now.

_Even if I can get away from her now, she would still be at the questioning…I would see her again._

Time ticks away.

_If I leave now… the link between all of them and the organization would be gone…_

I glance to the side at my school bag, the one Haibara Ai takes to school. I am Miyano Shiho, not Haibara Ai…not anymore.

_I knew it all along…Ever since I ran from them I had no where to go._

I think of my older sister, _I was a fool…wasn't I oneechan?_

There are no tears in my eyes. I will die here, that is how it must be.

I squeeze my hands together and a terrifying sound seems to shatter my eardrums. I look back and see that the center of the glass window has a hole.

"Un?"

Suddenly someone is grasping onto my arm and dragging me out of my seat.

"Ah?"

Kudo-kun wraps his arms around me as he forces both our bodies through the back window of the bus. Adrenaline is coursing through my body as the vehicle explodes and the two of us are thrown down hard on the asphalt.

I know he took most of the blow but my shrunken body aches as I sit up and support my self.

I can't even look around, I am so shocked.

"C-Conan-kun!?" a voice calls from behind us; I know that voice belongs to Detective Takagi. A second later I hear the others calling out to him as well.

Suddenly I feel a warm dampness run down my legs as Kudo-kun leans over me. I can now see Takagi-keiji looking down at us.

"This girl is hurt! Take her and the rest of the group to the hospital!" I glance at him as he practically gives orders to Takagi-keiji. He looks serious, far too serious for a child his supposed age. I can tell Takagi-san is confused; he is simply looking at us with a frown on his face.

"What?" He asks as if he is seeing double.

"I can go to the police myself!" Conan shouts.

The young officer gives him a questioning look but agrees. I already feel relieved.

The adrenaline starts to slow as Takagi bends down toward me. I feel a whole lot safer as he gently scoops me up into his arms while balancing on the balls of his feet.

"Let's go." He says gently to me.

"Don't run away Haibara…Don't look away…from your fate."

He says it as Officer Takagi stands, cradling me in his arms. I felt the young man tense upon hearing Conan's words.

Kudo-kun, you idiot, saying such things right in front of Takagi-keiji. But…I do understand.

"Take them to the hospital!" Conan yells at the detective who is looking down at him intensely. I figure that Takagi-san saw how Conan rescued me, add on what Conan just said and I can see why he is uncertain about the situation. I just look back at Kudo neutrally as I lean my head against Takagi's chest.

With one last glance at Conan, the man carrying me turns back toward his car. The professor quickly opens the back door for him and the kind detective leans over the back seat before placing me in the middle of it. He pulls his hands from under me very slowly, obviously afraid to harm me further.

I sit still as Mitsuhiko and Ayumi sit down beside me, I can tell they're concerned. When Genta and the professor closed their doors, the sedan beings to pull away, slowly at first but then much faster as the siren on the roof flashes a warning.

"Does that hurt Haibara-san?" Mitsuhiko asks me, his voice shaking.

"There's a lot of blood on your leg." Ayumi states, her voice ridden with concern

For the first time I look down and realize just how much blood there is.

"I'm fine, this isn't my blood." I say calmly. The kids, my friends, don't seem to understand…as they shouldn't. I see Agasa-sensei nod to me from the front seat.

_He put his blood on me so I could get away from there…You've just done me a big favor Kudo-kun._

I breathe a small sigh of relief. I am so happy to get away from that person. I know I am safe, Kudo trusts Takagi-keiji and so do I. Still my body is starting to hurt more as my heart rate comes back under control.

Ironically enough, my legs hurt the least out of everything, my arms, neck and back however, are burning.

I look up when the car stops and Takagi-keiji quickly gets out of the driver's seat.

"I'll take her into the emerge, can you take the kids and park the car?" He asks the professor smoothly. I can tell from his tone that whatever thoughts he was having about Conan-kun, they are no longer a priority.

"Of course, we'll meet you in there." Agasa answers as he gets out and moves to the driver's side.

A second later the young detective is leaning over Ayumi to pick me up. He once again, lifts me into his arms. He nods to the professor before shutting the back door and turning on his heel. The car pulls away as he runs up the steps.

I don't see a need to rush but he obviously does as he sprints up to the emergency reception desk with me in his arms. Suddenly, I feel unbearably exhausted as the nurse and officer converse.

I decide to rest my head against the man's chest, despite the pain, I feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms.

A moment later, I can tell from his larger breaths that he is unhappy we have to wait before a doctor can see me.

He sits in one of the vacant waiting chairs and shifts me carefully so that I am supported better in his lap. My eyes are closed but I can tell he is looking down at me. He holds me in one arm as he pulls his suit jacket off and compresses it against my legs.

"Does that hurt Ai-chan?" he asks me quietly, he sounds so concerned. My eyes flutter open and I shake my head 'no'.

"Okay…" he whispers before proceeding to remove the blood from my skin.

"Can you tell me where it hurts?" He asks softly. I know he is asking because he can't identify the source of the wound. For so much blood there should be an obvious laceration. I decide to answer him honestly.

"My back, neck, and arms…and my head." I sound like an overly tired child (which is what I happen to physically be at the moment).

He frowns; a part of me is pleased to see the concern in his eyes.

"Your head too?" He asks mostly to himself. Yes, my head feels like it is splitting open.

I decide that Conan couldn't have left me with anyone better as he placed a warm hand to my forehead and smoothed my bangs back. He rotated my head very slightly to each side looking for any cuts or bruises.

He glances around the emergency room for a minute looking for something. When he didn't find it, I hear his voice say something to the nurse. She gave him a haughty reply to which he sighed and proceeded to run his hand through my hair.

It feels lovely and I am able to relax again. His other arm is wrapped tightly around me and holds me secure to his body. He's so warm, I just want to sleep. I can feel my self losing consciousness and I don't fight to stay awake. There is no need.

What I think is a few moments later, I can hear the others as they must be crowding around me. In my half-conscious state I hear Takagi-keiji shushing them. I am infinitely grateful that he is still stroking my head gently.

Later I wake up to find that I am in a bed, a young woman is bandaging my arm.

"Oh, you're awake." She says softly as she finishes and lets my arm rest on the mattress.

"I'll go get the doctor." The nurse said quietly as she left the room. I am glad when Agasa walks in and sits in the chair beside my bed.

"The nurse said I could come in while she gets the doctor." He said smiling before starting to cough lightly.

"Where are Detective Takagi and the others?" I ask plainly.

The professor leans back and regards me thoughtfully, "Takagi-keiji took the kids home to their parents; they were very upset when they learned of the bus jacking."

The bus jacking…that seemed to have happened days ago, I know it has only been hours since the incident.

"I see. And Kudo-kun?" I ask the older man.

"At the station, but don't worry he was treated by Araide-sensei." I was glad to hear that. I looked up when I heard the door open as a middle-aged woman walked in the room.

After a thorough examination, the doctor told Agasa-sensei that I could go home tomorrow depending on how I felt. There was the possibility that I would need an MRI but for now that seemed unlikely.

After she left I turned to the professor, I noticed that he was frequently changing his position in the chair. I knew that it was uncomfortable for him.

"Professor, you should go home, I'll be fine here." I say to him.

"What? Ai-kun no, that's alright." He answered me worriedly. I was about to insist when there was a nock at the door, not just any knock, it was easily distinguished as a police man's.

There is intense warmth in my heart as Takagi-keiji walked into the room. I don't want to admit to myself that I am delighted by his presence. He is holding something furry in his hands.

"Oh, Takagi-keiji." Agasa addressed the young man.

The officer nods before turning his attention to me.

"How are you feeling Ai-chan?" he asks me softly. His voice has a wonderful gentleness to it.

"I'm fine." I answer him simply. My head is still throbbing, but other than that it was bearable. He leans toward me and presents the item he has been holding.

"This is for you, I was hoping it would make you feel better." He says sweetly, a smile on his face.

I take a better look at the furry item and realize that it's a stuffed dog, a little stuffed puppy, dark brown fur with blue eyes. I notice that the detective had even taken the liberty of tying a blue bow around the neck like a collar.

I reach for the gift and inside I feel like my heart is breaking.

The toy is soft and pleasant to touch. I feel overcome by the ache in my chest as I hug the dog to my body.

He grins, "I'm glad you like it." And I know that for whatever reason, he actually is glad that he was able to make me happy.

Suddenly his cell phone rings and he excuses himself from the room. I sit there numb, my face buried in the silky fur.

"A-Ai-kun, are you alright?" I hear the professor ask. I don't even know if I am. My eyes are starting to water and my throat is constricting. I can't find the strength to answer the older man. I can't find the strength to stop the tears from sliding down my face and into the fur.

Before I knew it, he stepped back into the room.

"The inspector has asked me to stay here until tomorrow…" After a pause he added, "He's very upset about what happened to Conan-kun and Ai-chan. I told him that you were sick and that I was more than happy to stay and make sure she's looked after."

"I'm alright Takagi-keiji; you don't have to do that?" The professor said.

"Please, you won't get better if don't sleep well. Don't worry, I won't leave her."

_He is going to stay with me?_

I can tell the professor was about to protest so I interceded: "Agasa-sensei, please go home and rest, I will be fine here with Takagi-keiji." I knew he understood the message. He sighed and stood.

"Alright, I'll leave her in your care then." He said with a slight cough. I nodded once he wished me a goodnight and watched him leave the room. Before I could even do anything else I felt a warm hand on my cheek brushing away the moisture from my tears.

I instantly turn my head towards him.

"W-why are you crying? Are you in pain?"

I say the first thing that comes to mind, "My head is hurting." And it is. I know that's all I need to say to get what I want.

Sure enough he pulls the chair up to my bed and sits, his hand reaches up and gently smoothes my hair. He continues to repeat this action.

I'm relieved that the emotional surge has passed. I know that from this day foreword I will be attached to this man. A bond has formed that I can't do anything about. The same thing has happened with Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, Genta, Ran and Shinichi, and of course Agasa-sensei. There are other people too like Satou-keiji that I have learned to trust, these people make me happy to still be alive.

I feel content as I rest against the pillow, clutching my wonderful gift. To me Takagi-keiji is a protector, someone who keeps me safe like Kudo-kun and Ran-san. But he is also a symbol of hope, he is a representation of the only thing the Black Organization fears: _the police._

I am grateful to Kudo-kun for saving my life. I smile into the dog's fur, _I'm a fool, aren't I oneechan?_

_I will not run from destiny._

* * *

I like Ai, and I must say that sometimes I feel so damn bad for her. Anyway, I took the Bus Jacking Case and ran with it. We don't get to see what happens after Takagi-kun takes her to the hospital and it gave me an idea. Plus, I love how Ai loves dogs. Good choice Takagi-kun! However, we must keep in mind that I interpret all of the events of DC as if Takagi and/or Satou is/are the main character(s). As a result you get something like this.

Anyway, I think I am going to expand this into a multi-shot fiction. It will basically be about Ai and her attachment to Takagi-keiji (which she now officially has). Hopefully I will be able to practice writing other characters. ^_^' Just a warning, the next chapters will probably get a little darker. Ai is actually a very mysterious character so that isn't my fault.

R&R please.


	2. Crush

Please keep in mind that this is not Shinichi/Shiho, (Conan/Ai) or Takagi/Shiho! I am just trying to put my self in Ai's position to better understand her character for future fictions. And of course I am shamelessly working at some Takagi praising. At the very least you can read this fic and find that the motive is "_**Wow, Takagi is so great that even Ai-chan thinks so**_". Above all else remember that if I am putting my self in Ai's shoes that of course Takagi is going to come up since it's me, **the ultimate Takagi fangirl**! :D yeah!

I disclaim all characters. Detective Conan belongs to Gosho-sama. Takagi is sexy :3

* * *

Kudo-kun, you wanted to have him trace the number…to find the boss of the Black Organization.

I would not allow that. Absolutely not. Takagi-keiji would be murdered, that should be obvious to you Kudo.

And after they killed the prying officer they would start to investigate the people around him. Other police officers, his family, anyone…anyone that was close to him.

Those people are not to be underestimated. They would make the connection, they would find you Kudo.

How foolish of you to even suggest using that officer. The only one kind enough to believe you in the first place. But you are used to using him for things, in fact, you're doing it right now, having him play the victim as you reveal the culprit.

At first it amazed me that Takagi-keiji was so willing to play a part in the reenactment. Not that he's far up in the ranks, but there are still other, lower ranked officers present that could fill this role. However, he is not annoyed or even insulted by being used like a puppet over and over again.

Humph.

That's another reason why I can't even let you tell him about us Kudo. He would actually want to do something to help.

Besides, I have my own personal reasons why I don't want this man getting involved. He's one of the people I've become attached to. Another one of the few people I have nightmares about dying.

I don't want them to kill him. I don't want them to kill anyone, including you and I.

Since that day when you saved my life on the bus I have become…different somehow.

I don't want to die; I don't want to lose to them. And despite what you may think Kudo, I greatly desire to be happy, somehow.

I lost my family, but it's not like I have no one. You showed me that when you rescued me.

I have friends. I have Agasa-sensei. I have Ran. I have you and officer Takagi.

You and officer Takagi…

This has been inciting my curiosity lately. My feelings for the two of you are different than the ones I have for the others. Or, perhaps not different entirely, there just seems to be something more.

When I interact with the two of you it seems as if there is more energy being invested. And so begrudgingly, I am forced to turn to the fact that I am almost nineteen years old. A young woman trapped in a child's body. Apparently, my toxin is not able to reverse all of the developmental processes of normal growth and maturation. Truly a pity.

Not that we haven't already figured that out. You have Ran and he has Officer Satou.

Both exceptionally lovely women in my opinion.

Unfortunately for me, my analytical mind misses very few things during the daily observation of the outside world. As a result, I find my self wondering what it would be like to have someone like the two of you do.

I don't really care, but I will not deny that the idea is appealing. For the sake of passing the time I have contemplated how it must feel.

With you Kudo…that's an interesting idea. We have been through some awful things together haven't we? Really, you're the only person who could begin to understand what this life is like. You impress me with your intelligence, your bravery and certainly with your perseverance. I value our friendship and our alliance. Yet, you are still another reminder of the Black Organization and I believe that is the reason why I have started to focus most of my excess attention on the young officer.

He lacks your prodigal deduction skills and your unshakable confidence but despite this I find it pleasurable to envision a hypothetical relationship with him. If only for the sake of satisfying my curiosity.

I do like him; I will not try and tell myself otherwise. Things are what they are. It is kind of entertaining to have a little 'crush' on him. The fact that he has no knowledge of the organization appeals to me. But I will of course draw the line as I always do, as I have done with you.

As a biochemist I pride myself far too much on my rational and practical thinking to waste my time and energy on pursuing something that is unattainable. Even if I turned back into an adult right now there would be absolutely no chance of a romantic relationship with him.

Still, in the darkest (and generally abandoned) part of my mind I wonder what it would be like to fill officer Satou's spot. I assume that it would be pleasant to be his wife, to be the one on the receiving end of his loyal affection. He loves children; I can tell he would make an excellent father. Perhaps, a little pet dog too. He'd be a very caring husband, but I would probably be annoyed by his constant desire to please. Generally, I think he'd keep me warm at night.

I break loose from my thoughts as I see you slip out from behind 'Sleeping Kogoro' and stealthily make your way over to Ran-san without anyone noticing. Well done Kudo-kun, you cracked another case.

I think I will put in a good night's work on the antidote research when the professor and I get back to his place. All this useless thinking that resulted from boredom has put me in a very productive mood.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll find someone I want to share my life (or what's left of it) with. Preferably, someone who isn't already deeply in love with someone else.

Or maybe not.

* * *

Once again, this is not Ai/Conan or Ai/Takagi, not even in a one sided way. (okay, maybe a little one sided). I don't think she's in love with them I just think it would be realistic for her to have a little crush on Takagi. However, I will warn you that in the next chapter Ai will have stronger feelings for Takagi. BUT not to worry it won't last. I might as well go right out and say that there will only be two more chapters _Desire_ and _Reduction_.

Also, thank you **StargateNerd **for the review, I hope you liked this chapter as well. Also, to **ZeroPanda** and **Marie Ravenclaw **for the fave and alert respectively.


	3. Desire

There is a strong reference to the Metropolitan Police Detective Love Story 3: Volume 27, Files 4-6, also episodes 205-206.

I disclaim all characters, all of which belong to Gosho-sama!

-WARNING- This chapter contains kissing :D Also, I warn because _**Takagi is too damn sexy**_ for all of our own goods! :3

* * *

I pull the hood down further over my eyes as I make my way down the steps exiting Shinagawa station. It's a nice summer evening and I can't help enjoying the light breeze. It's unfortunate that I am forced to conceal my face with this hooded sweater; I would have liked to feel the gentle gusts whip through my hair.

I grasp the handlebar tightly as I walk off the last step; my body is still stiff from the transformation. The re-growth of every body tissue and bone is quite an excruciating process. And somehow, through it all, the heart must keep beating…

I stop walking and briefly stand to look into a shop window, but the merchandise is not what interests me. I can see my reflection in the glass. I see a young woman, hood covering her eyes and a pair of boy's jeans hanging loosely from her small waist. I smile bitterly and at the same time she smiles bitterly right on back.

I continue to walk down the busy street. I picked Shinagawa for this very reason: the more people there are, the better I am concealed within their number.

Recently, I have been making some exceptional progress with the APTX antidote and thought it was time to test it before making any further alterations to the formula. I would have given this task to Kudo-kun, but my mind has been more wary of that since the last close call.

So, I decided that I myself would swallow the pill this time and take a little walk. I told Agasa-hakase that I was going out, but he does not know that I have returned to my 18 year-old self. I smirk as I look down at the baggy jeans; and Kudo's adult clothes were all I could find to wear.

I sigh outwardly. Despite the pain it feels good to be out in my normal body. My perspective has changed along with my size and it takes me a minute to recalibrate.

When I see a familiar row of toy dispensers, I once again halt my steps. Memories of the arson case come flooding to the front of my mind. I look up slightly and see the alleyway that leads to the now burned down warehouse. The place where he almost died, or at least one of them.

Despite the lack of people I decide to walk down the ally. I follow the maze along until I come to the spot where the warehouse once stood. I stop and think about how disoriented Takagi-keiji had looked as he appeared behind all of us at this very spot. Yes, I remember:

I remember his hard breathing and the blood running down his handsome face. He was filthy; covered in ash and dirt that had mixed in with his sweat. In his hand he held the window bars that he had been chained to with her father's handcuffs. I remember how weak and injured he sounded as he called out to her, almost desperately, before falling unconscious in her arms.

My teeth grind as I recall what my part in the aftermath had been. I had made some belittling comment about…what did I say again?

Oh yes; something about him wanting to die young because he had refused to act in the logical way and just break the damned cuffs.

But that is to be expected of him; he loves her so much after all. So much that he couldn't break her father's memento to save his own life. The fool…

What does he think?! That it would be easier on her to find her father's cuffs intact and attached to the remains of his burned body?! Anyone can reason that Satou-san would rather have a broken memory and an intact future.

However, in the end he had managed to secure both of those things for her. After a trip to the hospital he was just fine and Satou-san had her father's cuffs once again.

He spoils her…

I nearly jump as I hear a soft noise coming from across the clearing. Acting quickly I dart behind a stack of crates and survey the area. My breath hitches as I see the two people I had just been thinking about.

Now that I think about it, there was a red FD parked by the Kamen Yaiba toy dispensers.

Officers Satou and Takagi are standing at the entrance to one of the maze like pathways that leads into the clearing. I watch from my hiding spot as Takagi-kun looks around the clearing quickly.

"No one is here, not that I thought there would be anyone." I hear him say to his partner.

They are both dressed for work and I wonder if they are on an assignment. I can't tare my eyes off him, nor can I stop the blush spreading on my cheeks. I wonder if the antidote has anything to do with this odd reaction.

"That's good." She responds as she leans against the wall of another building. My eyes follow his every move as he steps closer to her. They are not on an assignment; they have most likely come here for some privacy.

And as far as they know, they have it.

I can see them clearly as they are straight ahead of me. They are just looking at each other shyly, there's only a foot between them.

"It's been two weeks since…since our kiss" Satou-keiji says blushing as she looks up at him.

Yes, two weeks since you and I both thought he had been shot to death…

He smiles and I can tell that his blush is even deeper than hers.

"Yeah…" He whispers back as he approaches her.

I watch intently as he cups her face and gently pins her body between him self and the wall. They simply stand like that as their breathing intensity increases in speed and sound.

Her eyes have fluttered shut and her lips have parted. His eyes widen before he regroups himself and leans in. I can't breathe as he hesitates a few centimeters from her lips. I know he's nervous.

Finally, his eyes close and he presses his lips to hers. The kiss is so gentle that I can tell their lips are barely touching. He pulls away slightly then switches the angle of his head before capturing her lips in his again. He moves a hand behind her neck and pulls her to him, deepening the kiss. She moans quietly as he starts to massage her mouth with his own slowly. He seems to be leading, I'm proud of him.

Their lips are no longer pressed together motionlessly as they were so innocently before.

The arm closest to me slinks up his chest and stops on his neck. As a response he deepens the kiss, pressing his lips much harder on hers.

Slowly, the exchange starts to become more passionate as they each start to conquer their fears. I keep my back pressed up flat against the pile of crates as I turn my head to watch, out of mere curiosity.

He has her pinned up further against the wall, one hand on the back of her neck and the other tangled in her hair. Both of her arms are wrapped around him and clutching his suit.

They pull away for air, but they keep their bodies close. My body temperature starts to rise as he leans in and licks her lips with his tongue. Instantly, they part again and he hesitantly slips it into her mouth.

I gasp at the same time she does from the intimate action. Curiosity…is that really why I'm still here? I wipe my forehead of sweat, most likely resulting from the effects of the antidote.

Or is it because I like seeing him like this?

I scoff at myself before my mind tries to come up with more excuses. Denial is a brittle shield that I consider beneath my sharp intellect.

Of course it's him. This is not curiosity, it is desire. I knew that the more I saw and interacted with him, the more I would want him.

This is fine. It is natural for people to want more of what gives them pleasure. I do not acknowledge my desire for him as a weakness but simply as a biological mechanism at work.

At the very most, it seems that simple contemplation of the idea has given way to a more pleasurable alternative. In this case, unhindered sexual attraction. As long as I can remain detached, I will allow my self this indulgence.

With this revised logic firmly in place I turn my head once again to watch the young couple. They break apart and he nuzzles her face affectionately.

"M-may I?" He asks, his voice shaking. I don't understand what he wants until he suggestively positions his watering mouth closer to her neck.

"Yes. Please." She moans weakly, and tilts her head to the side to better bare her neck for him. It's hard not to tremble as I watch him drag his swollen lips over her skin.

Suddenly, I feel a strong sense of jealousy as he starts to suck and nibble her neck while his hands roam all over her body.

She cries out, not used to such sensual pleasure. This was foreign ground for both of them.

My jealousy deepens as his hand grasps the collar of her shirt and pulls it away to better reveal her clavicle. I stifle a groan as his tongue traces the bone. I'm not surprised when she collapses, forcing him down on one knee to catch her.

He pulls her up into his arms and they stay like that as their breathing returns to normal.

"That was…really…fun." She says and he laughs into her neck. When her phone rang she quickly answered it. There was a brief conversation before she hung up. When she spoke she sounded disappointed.

"Damn, I have to go; mom needs me at home."

He nods understandingly and pulls her to him for one last kiss.

"Good night Wataru, I'll see you at work tomorrow.

"Yeah, night Sa-Miwako-san." He chokes as he struggles to correct himself.

She laughs and waves before walking away.

I wait for him to go but he doesn't leave. He's just looking up at the night sky, the moonlight shining down on him as he undoes the first couple of buttons on his shirt. I watch as he pulls the material away from his skin to cool himself down.

He jumps, startled, as I step out from behind the crates and approach him.

"Um, can I help you?" He says instinctively a hint of surprise in his voice.

This must be the emotion that Kudo felt at the school play when he chose to reveal himself. I couldn't even begin to understand why he had made such a dangerous decision.

Now I know how overwhelming that desire is.

I reach him and for a brief second I enjoy not having to strain my neck so much to look up into his face. He looks extremely caught off guard and a little embarrassed.

I throw my arms around his neck and viciously press my needing lips to his. Knowing I need to use the few seconds where he is too shocked to respond, I waste no time in prying his lips open and thrusting my tongue into the wet heat of his mouth.

I feel the hood fall back and I don't care. No one but the two of us is around. Aware that my time is nearly up, I soften the kiss, taking one last second to enjoy the sensation of his lips.

I pull away, my neutral expression meets his shocked face. I pull the hood back over my head and turn to leave.

"H-hey! Wait, ar-aren't you..!?"

I smile to my self and keep on walking. I move back into the shadows and quickly make my way back to Agasa's.

As I expected, he doesn't follow me.

* * *

I may have disappointed many, if not all of the readers with this chapter. While I hope that isn't the case, I completely understand if it is. If it makes anyone (especially hardcore Ai fans who may have found this chapter repulsive) feel better; just know that the last chapter will be more like the second. I hope that makes sense. If you're feeling put off, I suggest you read my responses to the previous reviewers for the reasons why this chapter happened the way it did.

Err, anyway, thank you to those who reviewed!

**StargateNerd**: I hope you liked this chapter. (I really hope so). Thanks for reviewing the first two chapters! I hope I'm not failing you! If you have any suggestions for the last chapter let me know.

**Miaka Kiri**: I know! Sadly I have many midterms and am not able to go on the cbox! I am only updating this because I have been bed ridden with the flu and needed to distract my self (with Takagi's sexieness). OH AND THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THE CORRECT HONORIFIC FOR AGASA! I was too shy to ask how to spell it! And of course Takagi-keiji is awesome! He's a stud muffin! Hope you liked this chapter. If you don't no one will :)

**Claude le noctambule**: I was very, very glad to get your review. That is exactly what I wanted to achieve with portraying Ai. Hopefully I haven't destroyed everything I managed to achieve that you liked with chapter 3. The main point about Ai that I wanted to get across with this chapter is that she IS NOT a robot. She's a person who is capable of feeling strong emotions and wanting physical contact. Also, I take into account that Ai is well, deprived, and so may be more susceptible to desiring an exceptionally kind character like Takagi. That said, I hope you liked it, even if only a little.

**Ytak**: First of all just getting a review from you makes me feel cool. I hope you don't regret the fave. As I'd expect, you understood the main punch line right away. She does know that it will go no further. At the end of this chapter she knows that more than ever. This chapter was particularly difficult to write because the message I wanted to get across could not be so bluntly stated. I hope you got where I was going with this. The last chapter will be all about how 'it goes no further', I don't want to say anymore than that. Thanks for reviewing!


	4. Recalibrate

I lied about this fiction having four chapters ^^'

It will be extended for at least two more chapters in addition to this installment. A warning, the style has changed for this chapter.

* * *

I quickly make my way back from Shinagawa, every so often looking over my shoulder to make sure I'm not being followed. I suddenly gasp, my hand clutches my chest as a sharp pain rips through my body. The antidote is wearing off. I wipe my forehead and lean against a street sign for a moment before continuing.

With every step I take, the pain intensifies. I know I don't have long before I change back into a child. Something is wrong: I should have had more time! I had projected at least a one day functional span. It has only been a few hours since I took the antidote.

_I must have made a mistake…_

I'm making a lot of mistakes tonight apparently. I somehow manage to stumble through the back door of Agasa's home. Now panting, I turn my body around as I still have a mind to lock the door. I make my way to my bed and nearly pass out from the pain a few times on the way. I notice that Agasa-hakase isn't home.

Fighting back the urge to vomit, I manage to climb on the bed and grasp the stuffed puppy with the blue ribbon tied around its neck. The transformation process begins and I hold the toy to my shaking body.

As the physical pain tares my body apart the young police detective comes to mind.

Wrong. It had felt completely wrong. Kissing him had not brought me the pleasure I thought it would. No, it had only given me a sick feeling in my gut that I know isn't part of the shrinking. Even though his lips had been pressed against mine perfectly, it was toxic on my mind, and the deeper I kissed him the worse I felt. Oh why God!? Why did I kiss him?

I scream into the fur as the agony intensifies. I wish I could take it all back. The moment I touched my lips to his I realized that this wasn't what I wanted from him. My eyes widen as another realization hits me like a ton of bricks: He's important to me, but not in the same way that he is to Satou Miwako.

My eyes shut tight as tears stream down my face. I can barely breathe now.

My bond with him is closer to a sister and brother. I don't really know how this has happened; he just seems to fit it so well. When I think about it like that, all the feelings I had for him since the bus jacking make sense. It's a relief to say the least.

_Thank God I understand it now._

Despite my newly found inner peace, the physical pain only intensifies until my body numbs as my heart freezes. There is a second where I think I'm going to die, but then my heart pumps again as my body finally shrinks.

I lay there covered in sweat and gasping painfully. I chock for a moment as blood trickles out of my mouth. I pass out just as I hear someone walk in the room.

I wake up to the feel of the warm sun shining on my face. I slowly sit up and a cool cloth falls from my forehead. I'm still clutching the dog to my chest.

"Ai-kun! Are you all right!?" The professor asks me as I sit up further in bed. The oversized boy's clothes feel heavier than I remembered. Heavier…

"Hakase I…" I begin as the professor leans in toward me. He nods, encouraging me to continue.

"The APTX 4869…I think I know how to create the antidote."

* * *

Kudo-kun and Agasa-hakase converse quietly while I work diligently away at the formula. If I'm right, if I've finally done it…the antidote will soon be in our hands.

Poor Kudo had practically smashed through the front door when Agasa had called him with the news of my breakthrough. For the past three days he has stayed here, staring at me while I work away. At first I found it extremely irritating, but now think of it as encouragement.

Once I reach a certain part in the chemical construction I am forced to take a break. There is nothing more I can do but wait for the un-catalyzed reaction to take place. Part of my breakthrough has to do with the realization that the use of catalysts in certain parts of pervious antidote construction may have in fact lead to its failure.

Another revision has lead me to the conclusion that one pill will not be enough to override the toxin. I have currently designed a treatment consisting of three pills. Each is different in composition, and importance at very specific stages of the cure.

"Haibara?" Kudo says when he sees me approach them.

"There is nothing more I can do for now." Is all I say. I'm surprised when he doesn't question me further, but only nods.

"At first I thought it might have been better to rent a lab at the university, but I am sure I can make do with your resources professor." I say thoughtfully.

"And besides, that would be a little to out in the open for my taste."

The three of us look to each other in agreement, turning around when there is a sudden knock on the front door.

Not even five minutes later the three of us are being dragged around the block by Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta.

"Come on! Come on! Hurry, there's a case!" Ayumi practically shouts as she held onto my hand.

Sure enough as we turn the corner a group of police cars are parked to the side of the road and Megure-keibu can be seen talking to a small group of people.

It's not long before I find out that the three younger children had witnessed the murderer fleeing the scene.

I smile to myself as Megure and Takagi look to each other, exasperated, when the children make their claims. I'm glad that I can look at Takagi-keiji properly now, having come to terms with what exactly he means to me. I feel like I've grown into a stronger person just from this realization and can honestly say that I'm grateful for it.

I sit down on a chair as I watch the investigation (also noticing Kudo crawling around under a table looking for evidence). I was about to slide back into thought about the antidote when I sense someone watching me. I look up and to my horror realize that that person is Detective Takagi. When our eyes meet he looks away quickly. But I saw it, I saw the suspicion and uncertainty.

_No, there's no way! There's no way he could recognize me…_

I hadn't told Agasa or Kudo about my encounter with him. All they were aware of was that I had gone to Shinagawa as an adult. I decide to leave the room, not wanting to be caught in his suspicious gaze. This worked for a little while. At least until the case was closed.

I had chosen to wait outside while Kudo solved the case from behind Agasa-hakase. I prayed that the young detective would not pursue the truth to what ever he was thinking about me. I abandoned this hope when Takagi-keiji walked right up to me after Megure had left with the criminal.

He crouched right down to my level and smiled at me. "Ai-chan, you may think this is an odd question… but, do you have an older sister?"

I kept my neutral expression as the police officer eyed me intently. I catch a glimpse of a very unhappy looking Conan over his shoulder before answering; "No, why do you ask Takagi-keiji?"

I can tell he forced the smile to stay on his face as he quickly pet my head and told me not to worry about it. He said nothing else as he stood to leave, only pausing to shoot Conan a curious look before getting in his car.

I had actually considered begging the kids to stay the night, that way Kudo wouldn't have the opportunity to address our newest problem. When the kids left, the three of us stood silent for a moment. Agasa-hakase looked nervously between the two of us.

"Haibara, what did Detective Takagi talk to you about?" Shinichi asked me gravely. Not thinking on my response I quickly answered; "Nothing important".

There was more silence before the shrunken detective spoke again. "I could barely solve the case with him breathing down my neck."

Conan walked over to a stool and sat, his head perched in his hands in thought. "Hakase, if you hadn't warned me, he would have discovered I was using the bowtie to mimic your voice…"

The professor nodded, "This is bad Shinichi, I noticed him watching you quite a bit."

I watch Conan's eyes narrow, "Damn it. Why is he suddenly so suspicious of me?"

I remain silent.

* * *

The next few weeks, were spent with his hands tied as he watched Kogoro flail around, hopelessly unable to solve a single case. After nearly being caught trying to but Mori to sleep three times, he had decided that it would be too risky to try again. Takagi-keiji was watching him carefully, popping up behind him at very inconvenient times.

Shinichi was really starting to worry after he, Kogoro, and Ran had visited the MPD for a statement. A quick inspection of the charts on Detective Takagi's desk revealed that the officer was looking through his files. And not just his…

"Haibara, what exactly did Takagi-keiji say to you that day?" Shinichi asked seriously.

Ai didn't look up from her work. "If you don't want me to mess this up you better leave me alone for now."

"What did he say Ai? This is important?" the voice that uttered the question was cold.

"Why?" Ai asked her voice even colder. It was only a matter of time before the prodigal detective discovered there was more to her trip to Shinagawa than she had let on.

"Because, he's looking through our files."

_No doubt searching for inconsistencies._

Ai sighed as she finally turned to face him. "He asked me if I had an older sister."

Conan tuned to look at Agasa and when he turned back to her he looked more than a little stressed.

"Either he somehow knows something about the organization or…"

Ai sighed, _here it comes_.

"Haibara! Could he have seen your face that night you went to Shinagawa!?" the shrunken detective practically shouted as he jumped off the stool.

"Yes, possibly." She responded calmly.

"He's recognized you then…" Shinichi mumbled. Of course there were also all those other events were he had come close to discovering the truth.

_Damn! Is He starting to piece things together?_

"Forget about that for now."

"What!? Haibara! How can you just blow this off like nothing?" Shinichi asked not believing her uncharacteristic carelessness.

"We have bigger things to think about, the antidote is virtually complete." Ai nearly laughed at the look on his face. Pitiful.

"Tomorrow night we will perform a calibration test. After that, I'll have the APTX 4869 antidote complete."

For once, Conan had no words. The thought of the finished antidote was easily enough to make him forget about Detective Takagi for now. If anything he could use the antidote to come up with a plan to dissolve the detective's suspicions.

More importantly he may be able to see her soon as well…_Ran._

* * *

Officer Takagi drove silently toward Agasa-hakase's home. Haibara Ai's personal file sat on the passenger side seat. The young man furrowed his eye brows. Something was not right about her; he had always felt that way. And after he had that encounter…

Conan-kun was another mystery that needed to be solved. But after watching the kid more carefully, the detective had decided that it would be better to start with Ai.

Her file seemed perfect. Nothing out of place, immaculate school records and residential information. It was when he compared it to Conan-kun's file that something seemed awfully wrong. The way the data was presented or put together was too similar, No, it was identical.

At random he had chosen one of the places Ai-chan's family was listed to have lived at and gave the landlord a call. An alarm was set off when the landlord who had owned the property for over 30 years had never heard of the Haibara family.

Takagi took one hand off the stirring wheel to wipe his forehead. He was nervous; he had come close to talking about it with Satou-san but had then decided against it. He wasn't so confident about his investigation as usual. Besides that, he didn't want to bother her unnecessarily.

Seeing the yellow beetle parked in the driveway, Takagi parked his car on the side of the road and got out. He scratched the back of his head as he stood nervously on the front step. He had planned out how he would go about bringing this up with the professor. He wasn't exactly about to outright accuse him of providing false documentation.

_Come on Wataru, let's get this over with._

Takagi was about to knock on the door when a strangled scream reached his ears.

_Conan-kun!?_

Jumping in to action, the detective quickly moved around to the back of the house where he searched for a way in. He silently rejoiced when he found an open window. The windows that led into Agasa's basement lab had been designed for emergency ventilation and so were quite large.

Takagi jumped down and pulled out his gun when another scream pierced his ears. Calming himself, the officer managed to find the stairs and walked up the steps as quietly as possible. He pressed his body to the wall and peered out of the small crack in the open door.

There was no sign of Conan or the two residents of the home. Takagi's breath caught when the woman he had met at Shinagawa suddenly stepped into view. She was looking down at the floor. Where were Ai and Agasa?!

Another scream.

_Conan-kun!? Hang on!_

Switching off the safety, Detective Takagi launched off the last step into the room.

"Police!" He shouted, his gun pointed right at the young woman dressed in a lab coat. From his new position, he could clearly see the whole room. Conan-kun was on the floor with Agasa leaning over him.

Takagi had been about to rush to his side when the small boy's body suddenly started to change…to grow.

Wataru's blue eyes widened in complete terror as the writhing figure suddenly stopped moving. The only sound in the room was the harsh breathing from the now teen boy lying on the floor where the child had been.

Takagi simply stared at the familiar young man as he sat up and took the offered bottle of water from the professor.

Takagi tried to move but found himself unable to. His eyes flicked to the young woman at which his gun was pointed and noticed her all too familiar neutral expression. He couldn't form any thoughts, his mind had been plunged into chaos.

Wataru nearly jumped when the boy on the floor addressed him. "Ta-Takagi-keiji…Yo."

Shinichi laughed darkly when the officer chocked before answering him.

"**K-Kudo-kun!?"**

Completely overwhelmed and a little unsure if he was hallucinating, Takagi sank to the floor, his gun held loosely in his right hand. After a few minutes of trying to calm himself, Wataru tried to speak but was at a total loss for words.

He had so many questions and…so many answers to some of his previous queries. The other three people in the room were silent for what seemed like eternity. Takagi wondered if they too were searching for the right words.

Takagi watched the famed teen detective as he stood up and walked over to the couch. "Takagi-keiji, are you planning on sitting on the floor for the rest of the night?"

Takagi was silent as he got up and sat on the couch opposite Shinichi. Ai came over and sat beside Takagi, Agasa with Shinichi.

"Well then, where should we begin Haibara?" Shinichi asked the young woman casually.

"H-Haibara…Ai?" Takagi stammered looking at the young woman.

Shiho simply nodded toward the older man who now looked about ready to pass out.

"And I am Edogawa Conan." Shinichi smirked sadly before correcting himself, "Well no, I'm Kudo Shinichi, Conan is just an alias.

"Oh my God." Takagi whispered as he rubbed his eyes with his hands. Shinichi was about to speak when the dazed detective cut him off.

"You know I always…since the elevator…thought that maybe you were… I mean that Conan was…"

Shinichi sighed, "Do you want to know the truth now Takagi-keiji. Or would you rather wait until we're both dead?" his voice was grave.

The young police detective looked into the boy's blue eyes for a moment before collecting himself and nodding.

"Tell me…the truth now." Takagi resolved.

* * *

It wasn't until 7:00am the next day that Wataru pulled away in his car. His mind was whirling. A part of him wished he'd never even thought twice about the odd 'children'.

Edogawa Conan was actually Kudo Shinichi, the famous high school detective that had been force fed a poison by members of a secret crime organization after witnessing one of their transactions. Instead of killing him the poison known as APTX 4869 shrunk his body to that of a seven year old. Not to mention that the creator of the drug was none other than Haibara Ai, wait, no, Miyano Shiho.

After the organization killed her sister, she was also locked up and took her own poison in an attempt to kill herself…but she ended up the same as Kudo and escaped. Takagi walked into a local coffee shop in an attempt to eat something before returning straight to work.

He sat down at a vacant table and absently bit into his bagel. Now, Both teens have been forced to take on false identities as children because the organization would come after them and certainly anyone close to them if they were discover to be alive.

Wataru's stomach flopped as he recalled Shinichi telling him that because he knew the truth, he, along with everyone he cared about were now possible targets. Takagi sipped his coffee. He wasn't worried about his family. They all lived relatively far away in the country. The person he was most worried about was…

"Miwako…" He moaned tiredly. Takagi sighed as he thought about poor Ran-chan who has no idea that the one she wants to see most is right beside her. Takagi understood that Kudo had no choice on the matter, but still, if it were him in Kudo's shoes…No, he'd do the exact same thing as Shinichi-kun.

And then there was Ai. When Takagi had asked her what she would prefer he address her as, she had insisted that nothing change. Wataru frowned, it was a little hard for him to call a grown woman he barely knew as –chan. Still, if that was what she wanted, that's what he'd do.

He thought about the strawberry blond and the things he had learned of her past. Her cold and reserved personality made complete sense to him now. He wasn't about to pretend he knew her just like that. He just had the general inkling that Miyano-san's life hadn't exactly been the greatest.

And then there was the fact that she had kissed him. Takagi took another sip of coffee, she had apologized for it when they had the chance to talk alone before he left. She had sincerely told him that it hadn't meant anything. She had then requested that if she wasn't being too selfish, could he please think of her as a sister.

He had simply responded that he had always wanted a little sister anyway. Her neutral expression had not changed much, she only nodded.

Takagi felt awful when he thought about her life. No child should have to go through what she had. To loose her parents and then her sister…_She must be so lonely._

Wataru had promised the teens that he would do whatever he could to help them, protect them. Of course he had also given his word that he would never tell anyone else their secret.

If anything, he was afraid Miwako would eventually figure things out on her own. He could not allow that. It scared him, but if Kudo had managed so would he.

* * *

In the next couple of weeks he had been introduced to the members of the FBI that had been tracking the Black Organization. Interestingly enough, Jodie (who had laughed quite loudly at his reaction to the knowledge of her belonging to the FBI) had given him a much more potent fire arm than his government issue pistol.

Takagi had quickly become good friends with the members of the FBI who seemed happy enough to have him on the team. Since then he had been assigned a few minor information gathering jobs that had been easy enough for him to complete.

A more amusing task had been giving Shinichi-kun some advanced shooting lessons. Shinichi could already use a gun but he had assured Takagi that he would benefit from his instruction. Wataru had been flattered that the prodigy was impressed at something he could do.

* * *

Takagi had nearly reached his apartment when Shinichi called him. Fifteen minutes later he pulled up to the hotel the younger man had indicated and took the elevator up to room 410.

James Black nodded to him as he entered the large suite. Takagi had known a meeting was coming and since he had finished with the jobs Shinichi-kun had set for him, he figured this was as good a time as any. The room's occupants all listened as he gave his reports and shared all of the possibly useful information he had found.

After that things got a little graver when Jodie informed them that they had managed to track a frequent residence of one of the Organization's members. At this point the FBI wasn't sure which member.

"We cannot pass up the opportunity to gain vital information on the Organization." Black said seriously

"If this really is their living quarters, then there is a high probability that we could find something useful." Jodie added.

"We may even be able to track the boss…"

"Are you proposing a raid then?" Andrew asked.

"Yes, something like that." James answered.

Takagi nearly jumped when Conan spoke from behind him. "Perfect, finally a chance for us to go on the offensive."

"Easy Kudo, this isn't a child's game." Ai spoke brashly.

"I know that Haibara." Ai only shrugged, smirking at him.

Takagi was about to speak when his phone rang. "Sorry." He said sheepishly as he fumbled for his cell.

"No one talk. Takagi-san, please answer the call here if you don't mind." James ordered sternly.

Understanding, Takagi nodded and answered the call.

"Hello, Takagi here." It was Satou.

"Dinner? I'm actually really busy tonight, can we re-schedule?" Wataru sighed at the sound of her dejected voice.

"Sorry Miwa." He hung up.

"Takagi-san..."

The officer regarded the FBI commander thoughtfully. "Don't worry."

Two hours later the group left the hotel. Takagi was about to get in his car when Jodie walked up to him. She passed him a sealed envelope and quietly gave him instructions for his next task before the raid. Wataru was a little shocked at what he had to do, but couldn't agree more on the importance that he got it done.

From the road Miwako sat in her car waiting for the light to turn green. She sighed dejected for the tenth time since reaching the garage, she had been certain they'd be able to go out tonight. She hadn't been out with him in a while and it was starting to bother her. Their relationship was finally getting underway and he was suddenly busy all the time. Even at work he seemed distant as if wrapped up in something else. When she asked him about it he just smiled and brushed it off.

Miwako had the feeling that he was keeping something from her. She sighed again and turned her head to look out the window. It was then she noticed him. He was standing beside his car talking intently to a short blond haired woman.

For a second Miwako doubted it was him, but a closer look told her that the silver sedan parked in front of the hotel was definitely his and the man dressed in the grey suit was indeed him.

The light turned green, but it took an angry honk from another driver before Satou touched her foot to the gas pedal and drove off.

* * *

I glance at Takagi from the passenger seat. Hakase sits in the back. "Thanks for the ride Takagi-keiji."

He smiles tiredly, "It's no problem, Black-san wants us to carpool as much as possible to our meetings."

"Hey, are you sure you shouldn't be calling her and setting up a late dinner?" I ask scolding him.

"Ai-chan, its 9:30, by the time I get to her place the only restaurant open will be WacDonald's."

"Who says you have to go out and eat? She just wants to spend time with you." I respond coldly.

"Trust me, I want to be with her more than anything but…" He seemed reserved about something so I decide to press him further.

"But..?" I mimicked annoyed with him.

"Well, we can't get together easily after she goes home." He answered hesitantly.

"Why not?" I ask. He mumbles something incoherent. "Sorry, what was that Takagi?" I've already figured it out but I admit he is fun to play with.

He sighs, "Her mother has no idea about me and she's not ready to introduce us. Happy now?" he really does look pathetic when he pouts.

"Its up to you, I was just trying to help." I finish lazily as I step out of the car with Agasa-hakase. When I see his sad smile I wonder if there is something else bothering him. I never wanted him involved in this mess and despite how useful he has proven so far, I still don't.

Not long after, Takagi sunk down on his couch and pulled the envelope out of his suit pocket. He sighed miserably. The real reason he couldn't meet with her was right here in his hand. He was too afraid to keep the envelope off his person for fear of losing it, making it much too easy for her to find.

He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He'd be lying if he said he didn't crave the intimacy they had just started to explore as their relationship progressed. He'd have to be strong until he could find a way to safely meet with her. God, Kudo has had to do this for how long now?

With a defeated sigh, Takagi opened the envelope to see which of his colleagues the FBI needed him to investigate.

* * *

Once again I shall mention that the story is being extended to two more chapters at least. I decided that it would be more fun for the reader if I expanded the events instead of simply stating what happens in one line.

The style of this chapter is very different from the first three. I hope I haven't thrown you off too bad. Don't give up on me just yet, I've got it all planned out on neon pink post-its.

In regards to the main point of this fic: I hope the reader can understand that I'm trying (hard) to portray Ai in the face of her obstacles and then show her growth as she overcomes these obstacles. As I got to writing the end I realized that I could not adequately do that without some Black Organization action!

Of course I give my utmost thanks to the reviewers: **StargateNerd**, **Miaka Kiri**, **Claude le noctambule**, **Ytak**, **ZeroPanda**, **Pretztailfan95**, and **unknown_006**.

Also, a big thanks to those who favorite and alert.

Ps. Yes, I laughed too hard when I typed 'WacDonald's'…I swear I have seen this used in many animes, all seeking to avoid copyright infringement in a tasteful way.


	5. Black Fragile Construct

Thanks for waiting. I feel as if I dug myself into a hole with this. There are several versions of this chapter actually. I just can't get it right.

And I tried to be stealthy but I think you all knew this was coming.

* * *

It is so incredibly painful. A brother, my brother…No, I abandoned that black construct relatively quickly.

I wanted him to protect me. I wanted to hold a special status of importance to him. It's what I had wanted from him since the day at the hospital. And as it turns out, a sibling's affection is not correct. I had a sister! She's gone now; I don't need a replacement. I can't ever replace…

It is irritating beyond belief when he treats me like a little sister. I hadn't minded at first but when he actually addressed me as such I promptly snapped at him and told him to stop. To stop doing _**that**_. He had looked confused and a little wounded as he quietly reminded me of our earlier conversation and of my request.

"I made a mistake." I told him. "I don't think of you as a brother in the least." My voice had been sharp and dense with annoyance then. He had looked hurt and said nothing more.

How I had tricked myself into justifying my feelings in such a way is beyond me. It's pathetic really. I'm so desperately trying to protect myself from the unacceptable.

Admitting that I love him could destroy me. Thus, it only makes sense that I'd invent something to block that reality out. It had worked for a significant while too.

I had actually believed that I had come to terms with my feelings for him. I had actually been proud of my self for my apparent personal growth. I suppose the only reason I've survived this long is because I have very efficient and sophisticated psychological defense mechanisms. I have learned to adapt to things by twisting my own feelings into something they are not.

Such is pathological behavior in the least.

Still, if only I had managed to cling onto it, it is so much better than facing the real. And **I am** getting so sick and tired of my reality. How much more could life possibly squeeze out of me? Was it not enough already?

Now this, on top of everything else.

When I look at him it hurts. It is so incredibly painful to face the truth.

He _**could**_ be my equalizer, he does make me feel safe, he does make me feel secure, he does make me happy. With him and only when he's present do I finally feel at ease. The Organization and the fear and anxiety attached to it…all of it…is suddenly bearable.

But this is just a means to no end. He will not be my equalizer, he will not be my reward for suffering this life.

He's here now because he cares about more than just me. It's in his absolute nature to protect.

Well…at least he was… When he showed up at four in the morning I could tell something was very wrong with him. He tried to cover the fact that he was shaking while he told Agasa and I everything.

A mere week after he had begun his investigation a new officer had been introduced into division one. The new officer was young and ranked at the level of assistant inspector. He and Detective Satou had been split up as partners. She was assigned to the new comer, and he with another detective in the department. He had confronted Megure on the decision but was told there was nothing that could be done; the order had come directly from the top brass.

He went by the name Kurosaki. Apparently the only remaining member of a very wealthy family that had had connections to the governing body of the police for quite sometime. I wasn't surprised when Takagi told me that his interest in Officer Satou was obvious and extensive.

Not that they had been on speaking terms before Kurosaki had shown up. I know because Kudo-kun and I overheard them fighting in an unused conference room at the MPD. She had wanted to know what he was keeping from her. When he insisted there was nothing she brought up the fact that she had seen him with a woman in the parking lot of a hotel a few days prior.

When he couldn't explain it she asked him again what it was that he was hiding. I knew he had panicked in his desire to keep her from discovering the truth when he simply shouted that it wasn't her business. She had walked out of the room and down the hall without so much as a look at Kudo or I.

Takagi had barely been able to get the information regarding the new member to us. He had ignored all of Kudo's calls and had not been present for the last meeting. It was clear to all of us what was happening.

The raid was cancelled and all ties cut immediately. I had suspected that the organization had ties within the police, (it would be wishful thinking not too), but I never thought that they had infiltrated at the level of government control. Then there was also the question of who had noticed Takagi investigating other officers and prompted the organization to move. Clearly, someone knew what to look for.

I told them that the Organization was not to be underestimated… There is no doubt in my mind that Kurosaki was put there to investigate Takagi while keeping a gun to Detective Satou's head. He would keep himself close to her and gain any useful information from her that he could.

And then there was him…

He had fallen asleep on the couch after telling us the disturbing news. After covering him with a blanket I sat with him on the couch while Agasa called Kudo-kun.

His breathing had been rough and unsteady, his features were taunt with anxiety even as he slept. The anger I had felt towards myself at that moment was even greater than the guilt.

It was my fault that he discovered the truth. It was my fault that he has to suffer. The thought of them killing him…and at this point it was likely. I, I can't even describe it. Not even to myself. As soon as her use to them dries up, she's dead. I know he knows it. Even if he escapes them, losing her will kill him.

That night I couldn't offer him any condolence but I felt it appropriate to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. I'm not suprised I didn't wake him. My current form is so tiny compared to his.

This is of course the type of physical contact I truly desire with him. Gentle and…loving, not aggressive and desperate. He's much too good for that. This is likely what upset me when I kissed him at Shinagawa.

I haven't seen him since that night. He has made no contact. We've been too afraid to get anywhere near the police or the FBI for that matter.

It shocked me when Kudo off-handedly mentioned that he no longer fully trusted the whole FBI either. I feel the same; the situation is much too dangerous and fragile for misplaced trust.

Currently, Kudo-kun is trying to find a way to save the two police officers.

Even with the completed antitoxin I doubt there is much he can do without exposing himself.

That is why I myself have decided to take action. There is no time or any other option. All of the people I have come to care for are now in jeopardy. And I'll be damned before I let any of them, especially him, die.

* * *

Extracting information out of the usually strong willed detective has proven exceptionally easy. Keeping her isolated from her partner is proving even less challenging. It seems that the woman's distress is based in her partner's apparent involvement with another woman. Yes I believe she said she saw him with a short blond haired woman…

Really now…I don't even need to guess who that could be. Though the poor little policewoman doesn't have any idea. She doesn't even seem to have any insight into the fact that I'm probing her for information. When I said I would try to help her with **him** she told me everything.

By extension, I can safely conclude that she is not a threat. Her trust can also be of future use…at least for now I will keep them both alive. Dealing with the primary target is the top priority.

* * *

…Thank you everyone who plus fave and alert and especially to the reviewers so far and in future.


	6. No Time for Sorrow

I made a habit out of it.

He would come in to report at around four am most nights.

He would fall asleep on the couch after doing so.

I wait for Hakase, and sometimes Kudo to leave before reaching over him and loosening his tie, undoing the top most buttons on his cotton shirt and removing his belt.

I walk to one of the oversized drawer units mounted on the wall and pull out a large blanket, haul it back toward him and do my best to get it over his body.

Next I make sure his head is sufficiently supported by some form of a pillow before leaning over him again and letting my hand hover over his face just above touching distance. Afraid to make contact.

But when his face suddenly contorts on these nights and his body twists slightly due to a nightmare I have to smooth his hair down and I have no choice but to silently stroke his cheek. Eventually it sooths him into a more peaceful unconsciousness and I leave him for my own bed.

Tonight was much the same. Except tonight I can look over him much easier…

The sleeves of my lab coat gently brush his face as my hand courses lightly through his hair.

She won't speak to him, she won't even look at him and he tries to act like he's dealing with it on a completely adept level…But I know it's killing him.

I know that his removal from her and his inability to protect her is destroying him from the inside out. She is in danger and the only thing he can do is watch as they dangle her in front of him. A silent, menacing threat that if he makes a wrong move, her life will be over.

My tight red dress feels disturbingly unfamiliar as I crouch down beside his sleeping form.

His nightmares seem especially relentless tonight, it's already almost five am and he still hasn't fallen into a more peaceful slumber.

Despite his claims I do not think he is holding up well. Kudo agrees, but it's not like he can just back out now. It wouldn't matter; he's already been targeted and put under surveillance.

My mouth tightens in a thin line when a spike of pain shoots through my chest. Another pill was unavoidable. In order for me to complete our customized treatments we both have to take carefully managed calibration doses. I wipe a trickle of blood from my lips.

This pill was the first of three that will cure us.

Though, at least as far as I can tell, Kudo seems to be doing considerably better than I as far as the consequential intense bouts of pain. However, this may be due to the fact that he has been spending time with Mouri-san. It's an irritating confound that I'm not quite sure I have accounted for. Still, his antidote is complete; he only needs to take two more pills twenty four hours apart.

My eyes focus back down on Takagi when he sighs and seemingly relaxes; the nightmare likely over.

Finally... His inability to sleep peacefully was driving me even deeper into my guilt ridden thoughts. It is my fault he is in this state after all.

I tuck the blanket further around him and lean over him to lightly brush my lips against his forehead.

About a centimeter away I halt, a far better idea coming to mind. It is likely the last time I will see him anyway.

It's wrong, so very wrong but I can be an adult right now…this chance doesn't come often. And aside from desperately desiring it…I feel like I owe it to him.

Shoving the thought of how that doesn't really make sense aside, I lean in again and press my lips to his.

This was how he was meant to be kissed. Perhaps it's how she usually kisses him because when I pull away after a moment, her name is uttered quietly through his lips.

No time for sorrow.

My gut wrenches when a familiar voice comes crashing into my small temporary happiness.

"What the hell are you…"

I glance up at the adult Kudo, eyes that should have been lidded with exhaustion, are piercing through mine with an undeniable disbelief.

I draw my self up to my full height and face him straight on.

"Nothing."

Feeling sick I walk forward and past him, intending to feign sleep. Not even one pace beyond him and his hand is closing around my arm, effectively halting my progression.

"Ai!"

"Be quiet. Do you want to wake him up?"

I really hate the fact that my body is trembling in his grip. But it's time.

"Remember Kudo, the next pill at noon tomorrow and the last one the next day at the same time. That will turn you back permanently."

His grip slackened a little.

"You already told me this…don't change the subject."

"Don't do anything stupid that will get you or anyone else killed. Remember your priorities. Do what is best."

With nothing more I walked away into my bedroom. He has probably decided against perusing the subject.

That was it. I said what I had to. My last reminder to him. He will know what to do once I make the path for him. At the very least, the two police detectives will be spared. I know he won't waste the opportunity I will give him… because of him I won't give everything for nothing.

I wish him luck. I wish them all luck.

A moment later when he goes back to his room, I remove my lab coat and replace it with a black, hooded jacket. I take the stuffed dog off my bed and hold it tight as I make my way back to the couch.

His breathing is steady as I approach and place the dog against his chest. In return I take the gun the FBI had given him out of its holster.

I wipe it clean of finger prints as I take one last look at him. From the day he gave me that dog he has become irreplaceable. He has been one good, sweet thing in my life that gave me at least a little warmth and happiness.

The back door clicks quietly back into place and I step into the cold dark of night.

I was able to fall in love with him, even if it never meant anything. I have to protect him, I have to preserve his future.

The antidote is finished, my task complete. There is nothing else left here that I can do.

The only thing left for me is to face my fate. For everyone's sake…I can't run anymore.

Though I think a part of me always knew it would come to this. _I was foolish wasn't I, one-san?_

\|/ Listen_..._Go read_ Fallout _by_ The Siversage _if you have not already. It will blow you're mind.


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